Good Manners or Good Health?

On Friday, I was a guest on “Whole Living” on Martha Stewart radio talking healthy holidays. We discussed holiday parties and the holiday mindset and then, my favorite part of the show, we opened up the phone lines to callers. One caller, I believe his name was Brad, said that over the holidays there would be one day where he would be at 4 different homes.  He asked the best strategy for his day. While four family visits in a day sounds like a doozy, many of us will be confronted with some sort of hostess or host dilemmas in the next couple of weeks. So how can you manage good manners and good health?

First, what I find when I’m hosting a party is that I really want people to take whatever is being offered. Whether it’s a welcome cocktail or a passed hors d’ouerve, your radar is up for who accepts and who declines the food and drink. As a guest, remember you can accept without needing to ingest. Politely receive your plate of food or glass of wine and nobody will notice what you actually consume.

Second, I am a fan of strategic eating. If, like Brad, you have a day or week filled with family and food you should have a strategy too. Once you’re at a gathering and the holiday music plays and delicious aromas infuse the air, it’s too late. Pick one “forbidden fruit.” I’m sorry if this doesn’t sound festive but a fruitcake on each butt cheek isn’t the way I want to deck my halls. For one gathering you may say you’re laying off the desserts, at another you may curb the carbs. The nice thing (yes there are nice things) about family is that you generally know what to expect. If Grandma Edna has baked Christmas cookies at EVERY Christmas, chances are there will be a cookie jar. Traditions apply to food and there will be few surprises.

Finally, never underestimate the value of a thoughtful hostess gift.  Grandma Edna above doesn’t want a bottle of Absolut (or maybe she does) and the calorie counter doesn’t want chocolates. A delicious tin of  tea, your favorite sweet treat work well. Some of my favorite gifts have been special vinegar or hone. It is the thought that counts and let’s be honest the bottle of wine in the tin foil wine-store wrapper doesn’t show much thought. If you’re going to pass on the pie (or accept it but not ingest it), better if you brought something special with you. With these tips you’ll fine you can be polite and not portly, well-mannered and well.

Any host or hostess horror stories to share? Do you eat to please at family or holiday gatherings? What are your favorite host or hostess gifts?

Diamonds and Drinks

I was grumpy yesterday. I even emailed a friend and asked “ever plan an event and just want it over?” She put me at ease and said she often felt that way.  There were the usual moving pieces, people backing out at the last minute and other neglected work I needed to get to.  I think I had a sneaking feeling things weren’t going to turn out as I wanted them to. Why is it these are always the nights that end up perfect?

A few months ago, I was introduced to a jewelry designer named Marissa Alperin. Marissa came to my office, with her jewels, and though I’m not a serious jewelry person I was blown away by collections inspired by the beach, her love of color and texture and a piece she had made for her mother who had survived breast cancer. I fell in love with 2 creations of Marissa’s that I now wear almost every day and wanted to show others her work.

I'll digress to one of the last conversations I had with my dad. We had talked about the soldiers coming home from Iraq. I was in his hospital room, reading the paper and he spotted a photo and said “we can’t forget about these kids coming home without arms and legs, it’s not a life.” In my glass half full mindset and talking to someone who knew first hand what life was life without a limb I said “but they are alive and get to come home.” Up went his eyebrows and slowly he said “it’s a limited life.” Those words stuck with me and continue to give me chills as I type this.

I had the idea to invite friends to see Marissa’s creations and asked Marissa if she’d consider donating a percentage of her profits to Wounded Warrior Project. I also asked what she thought of the idea of having a charm made in honor of my dad. The charm would be a martini. You see, despite his “limited life", martinis persisted. Marissa loved the idea and we got to work planning “Diamonds and Drinks”.

Last night we gathered in my apartment. Marissa turned my dining room into a jewelry shop. My friend John Marsh was busy at work in the kitchen. John will be opening his first NYC restaurant in a few weeks, his wife told me “he is only here for you and for this cause.”  I had kept the guest list small as I didn’t know how things would go.  Steadily, friends arrived from all different parts of my life. While some shopped others sipped and John’s organic bites were passed around the room. We ate beets and feta atop Mary's Gone Crackers, crab avocado wasabi crisps and small demitasse cups of gazpacho.

Did I mention the elderflower martinis? Yes, these martinis are made with Absolut Boston which is elderflower and black tea flavored. The vodka is combined with lemon juice and simple syrup. After about 2 hours I was told we were out of the lemon juice (from 2 dozen lemons!) and the reserve bottled lemon juice.  The martinis and the evening was a hit.  The night was perfect.

What do you think is the key to a successful party? The guests? The food? The drinks?